Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead
If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
