Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
There's a pigeon walking up the driveway. I don't care what he wants. I'm not answering the door
He is known as a miracle comic. If he's funny, it's a miracle!