Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow
Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. "So it's like any other day."
