Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you
I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"