Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you're listening.
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains