How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her.
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.