How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
A women's work that is never done is the stuff that she asked her husband to do
I always say "morning" instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to you.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila