I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
If I get interviewed by a police sketch artists, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I'm making him draw a pirate.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader.