If you got tired of living, don't share your thoughts with all your friends - they might not give you a chance to change your mind.
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves
What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball