I've had so much to drink that you're beginning to look good.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
