I've had so much to drink that you're beginning to look good.
Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first!
