[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me. I said u look really fat in those pants!
Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck