Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? "Cause you're fatter than they are."
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
