My favorite sexual position: The Chilean miner. That's where you go down on me and stay there till Christmas
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay? Because they can only mandate.
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this?" "You're speaking to it."
I have all the money I'll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.