Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.
