Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason
Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.