She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy
A woman is like a shadow: when you walk from behind she runs away. When you run from her, she follows you behind
When The Hulk enrages and destroys everything around him "he's incredible". But when a girl does it "she's on her period".
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter