The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!
If I get interviewed by a police sketch artists, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I'm making him draw a pirate.