The common thing between a woman and a condom is the fact that they both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the History channel
My resume is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt