The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead
