Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning
