We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
Olympic track makes you feel like you witnessed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of black guys hauling ass.
Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains
