What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a mustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
