You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them
I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again"
Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? "Beat it - we're closed."