You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead
My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit