I should get a job on the bomb squad... then there will be hope
A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"
What was I thinking when I said I do? I'd already had sex with her so I didn't need that again
Expired Driver's License, why can't a marriage license do that?
