The first dumbest move had to be when I answered your phone call the day after we had sex
Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime
Did you know that daddy's nurse was a fat woman who used to come to his shoe store? I say "used to" because her patronage fell off when she came in and asked for something to make her foot look small, and I said "try your ass"
I should get a job on the bomb squad... then there will be hope