I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare
A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"
Time sure flies when you're married and have no life
If your father didn't lace that lemonade, with vermouth, I'd be single
