What was I thinking when I said I do? I'd already had sex with her so I didn't need that again
Did you know that daddy's nurse was a fat woman who used to come to his shoe store? I say "used to" because her patronage fell off when she came in and asked for something to make her foot look small, and I said "try your ass"
If I was the mailman, I would be having your wife!
Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime