I'm trying to imagine you with a personality... It ain't working bro.
"Guy": So do you wanna date? "Girl": Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
So you lost your virginity? Nevah! I'm saving myself for you. I want my first time to be special.
I personally would not trust you to feed my goldfish while I'm away, you would only kill it and then blame someone else for it.