"Student": Would you punish me for something I didn’t do? "Instructor": Definitely not. "Student": Good, because I haven't done my homework
When they ask who their dad is, you can play "Wheel of Father"
Stop crying like a little girl, give your sister her bra back, and man up a little bit.
Be assured no one is gonna try to marry you or have sex with you. You're not even a drunken 5!