A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
Beers are full of female hormones. After I drink a pack I can't drive a car and I start behaving illogically
