Five days of the week, my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt