Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching.
Why did God put men on the Earth? Becuase a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?
