How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?