How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced
Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days