How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, "I'm fine" than when you are flying on an airplane.
Olympic track makes you feel like you witnessed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of black guys hauling ass.
You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.
