You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, "I'm fine" than when you are flying on an airplane.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble
It's ironically funny how axe handles are made of wood. It's like the ultimate "Fuck you" to trees.
In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma - but never let him be the period