I always say "morning" instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to you.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? "Cause you're fatter than they are."
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.