I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?