I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it.
Do you have 11 protons? Cause your sodium fine.
Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor"