I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it, and he's always on time
Why do they call it Alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'Hi, My name is John and I am an alcoholic'
I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words.
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.