I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job
For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini