I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you
To a young housewife: remember that a small bottle of vodka not only will decorate the table but also will hide your cooking mistakes.
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner? When the power goes off