Loneliness is when a person always knows where all of his things are.
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit
I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it.
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
