People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made
The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch
If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it.