The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree would kill you? A pool table
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this?" "You're speaking to it."
When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there.