What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"