When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!
How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
When The Hulk enrages and destroys everything around him "he's incredible". But when a girl does it "she's on her period".