Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
