Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
Instagram is my 'serious' account. My Bank account is the 'joke' one.
Boy : I have a pen you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities. Girl : I have a sandal you have a face. Think of Casualties.