Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.
