Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it